The Enemy Within

I made it to the noisemaker list a couple of times in primary school. I don’t think I was a nuisance; I just had the urge to talk and it lead to trouble. Borrowing a rubber was an offense, trivial as it may seem the consequences were dire. On this article though I’ll be talking about a noisemaker we love to entertain. The noise made sometimes sounds like good advice, wise words that should not be ignored. The persistence and consistency can only be rivalled by a politician seeking votes. This notorious noisemaker is your ‘inner voice’; a roommate in your mind who has an opinion on everything and makes a fuss off anything.

Ever since we were old enough to remember our thoughts, our inner voice has been speaking. Giving us advice on what we should do, making us feel shame when it constantly reminds us of that one embarrassing moment and sometimes making us anxious by filling us with ideas of what other people might be thinking. It might be the singular reason why most of us fail to live in the moment. The inner voice has made most captive of events in the past making it impossible to enjoy the present.

Maybe you do not understand what I am talking about, let me remedy that. Without uttering a word say ‘la la la’ in your mind, that voice you hear is your inner voice. The inner voice does not only remind us of shame, bring anxiety but also it blows things out of proportion on some occasions. For example you might have had an argument with a loved one in the morning and throughout the day your roommate will not give you rest. It fills you with scenarios of how you can win the argument once you get back home to the point where you might start speaking to yourself.

So how then do we deal with a roommate we never asked for? Can the voice be ignored? I’m sure when you tried to ignore it; it became louder especially when you are stressed. I’m sure when you talked back at it; it didn’t stop the chatter.

What we can do is accept the voice is there to stay and let it go on with its chatter without getting involved with the conversation. This takes time to master because it is sometimes irresistible not to entertain the noise in your head. What if we understood that it is just noise and we can be free from the worry it brings. What if we understood that this voice has no power to know what is going on in the minds of others or what will happen in the future so why listen to it like it’s the Bible truth?

It holds us captive with events that happened to us as far us 10 years ago or a silly incident in traffic that morning. We can set ourselves free by working on cleaning our spiritual system from events that have piled up in our hearts. Once we have moved on the voice has no subject matter to torment us with. Some of the events that we are tormented with are very traumatic and might need professional help to heal but as long as they hung over our heads the inner voice will not lack fodder.

Truth can be used to deceive, just as the devil tried to deceive Jesus in the wilderness. The devil did not lie, actually quoting Bible verses but Jesus knew better than to be deceived. We usually talk about fake friends but we forget that the biggest deceiver sometimes is in our heads. Our inner voice has the habit of feeding us unverified information. It sounds believable because it matches with our reality or our truths. It may make you feel like a victim when you are not or make you feel like the best blogger in the world but you are not.

To avoid this deception, we really have to be honest with ourselves. One way is by taking ourselves through the litmus test which is life. You wouldn’t know if you are a good singer if you don’t test yourself in front of a crowd. Self-awareness is not a destination; it’s a lifelong process that never stops, until death comes knocking. That’s not to say that the older you are the more self-aware you are, if you don’t take deliberate action to learn from others, read books, experience life by doing and seeking spiritual growth you might be stuck in the trap of your inner voice.